life in review.

Months have passed and I haven't been terribly diligent at posting blogs. I think it all comes down to casual living habits. I have slipped into coming home a bit late at night, too tired to take my foundation and liquid liner off, and falling into a slumber that stains my pillow cases navy... which is no state for writing blog entries...

THE WEEK IN REVIEW

1. On Friday I woke up at 5.30am and flew to Christchurch for the Erin Simpson's Show end of year party. Friday was a sunshiney day so I browsed the Arts Centre, sat on a park bench and wrote lyrics, met up with a friend and peddled a boat down the Avon River, wandered the Botanical Gardens and then had the party. I stayed at this party until 4.30am, but only because there was karaoke. I love the garden city.

View from Hotel room.

Botanical Gardens.

Lyrics.

Sunshine squinting.

Arts Centre.

Erin Simpson Show friends.

2. Other fun was celebrating Guy Fawkes with friends, even though some friends (the male ones) thought that setting off fireworks while they were still holding them was cool. It actually did look quite spectacular, like they were shooting the night sky with rainbow rockets.

Ladies pose.

Sparkler fun.

3. On a friendship note, I have been having honest confrontations with a good friend of mine, talking about the problematic things of our lives, and the things most unbearable to us. This is more refreshing than I can say and the verdict is: conversation is kind of just like a mathematic equation... with every word you utter either adding to or subtracting from someone. I want to be a great adder. Or even multiplier.

4. Today! I found out today I made it into the finals MTV's 42Unheard music competition. I was voted into the Top 6, out of 357 acts which is a little bit overwhelming. So I will be performing at the finals gig soon in front of suave industry types. I was shaking a little bit when I sat at the computer this afternoon and found out, and then was worried I might have Parkinson's.

5. Another highlight of recent events (a few weeks ago) was filming at the NZ Music Awards and interviewing none other than the Prime Minister! Plus going back stage.

6. And if you want to laugh at me (though I don't see why you would want to do that) watch me trying to be Britney Spears here. I thought this story would be really funny and ironic, but it is kind of embarrassing.

Oh and while I'm posting things, here is a picture of halloween last weekend. I dressed up as Halloween and won best dressed girl at my mate's party. Booya. Probably the highest achievement of my life... very pleased with myself, I was.

Dr SKS and I.

That's all been happening around these parts. So, the end. For now.

you say goodbye, i say HELLO

a festive hello:
i haven't written to you since life became notes scribbled in the black whitcoulls diary. at this point in time, arranging plans becomes hazardous and i am starting to get scared about bookings and commitments to things because they oft seem to get a bit waylaid last minute, by "things-that-really-must-be-done now thanks." i think it's called 'doing martha stewart proud'... and jenny shipley... and ex-mother-of-the-nation helen clark... aka career women. yisssss. i have power dressing to look forward to.

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and then night-time is for tarrying and strumming into the late hours when the street outside is silence. that, and reading the work of charles bukowski: 

"There was sunlight upon the rug and on the legs of the people. I liked the sunlight. The legs of the people were not interesting, not like the tablecloth which hung down, not like the table leg, not like the sunlight. 

Then there is nothing... then a Christmas tree. Candles. Bird ornaments... A star. Two large people fighting, screaming. People eating, always people eating... Two large people: one larger with curly hair, a big nose, a big mouth, much eyebrow; the larger person always seeming to be angry; the smaller person quiet, round of face, paler, with large eyes."

-- Bukowski, Ham on Rye (1982) p.1

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i like simple, gritty, visual writing. i like him. i also like sufjan stevens. this is how sufjan feels about christmas:

that was the worst christmas ever.mp3

not sure why i'm writing about christmas. i think maybe life feels a bit like the holidays at the moment. the type of holiday you're soO excited about because your entire family from saskatchewan is flying over and there's noise and bustle, and something magic and extraordinary twinkling in your cousins' eyes but all the mothers congregate in the kitchen and exclaim "ohhoo, wouldn't exactly call this a holiday! get me on a tropical beach any day!" over the turkey stuffing, as they rush to mix it in time, with heels clacking on the floor.

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quote of last night's filming: 

me: hey! smashproof! can! i! ask! you! a! few! questions!?

young sid: yeah? but... i'm not good at being eat ass...

magic.

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The times they are a changin'

Okayyy Kia Ora, so the new Erin Simpson Show ad is on TV and I am getting these lovely comments from my friends:

"lol lololololol"

"OMG It looks like High School Musical!"

I actually happen to love High School Musical which is lucky for me - and am nervously excited  about everything going on air on Monday. Come watch - TV2 on weekdays from 4.30 - 5.30pm.... 

See the ad here to add your 2c....... 

....Oh and I secretly hope Zac Efron will watch it on TVNZondemand and then dump Vanessa Hudgens for me. Can I just say: I did go and see '17 again' and it rulz. Know me before you judge me.

In other news have been gigging a lot and loving it. Also - just polishing two new demos which are the first steps in a new sound.... can't wait to share them ASAP. 

ALSO LISTENING TO BAT FOR LASHES. Natasha Khan rulz heaps.

SUMMER LOVIN'

I JUST GOT MY SUMMER PHOTOS DEVELOPED AND I LOVE THEM!!!!

FROM A 90s CAMERA I BOUGHT IN AN OP SHOP, SO OLD THE BATTERY ACID LEAKED ONTO THE FILM AND MADE AMAZING LIGHTING SPLOTCHES. rip summer <3

LOLZ and FITYUSSSS.

I know it's terribly offensive and not PC, but this is hands-down the FUNNIEST thing I have seen in a long time:

Paul Henry Rulz my world

Ahhhhhhh no words. Tu meke.

Just got back from filming in ChCh! Had a great time doing promo for TV2's new Erin Simpson Show which goes on air from April 27 - weekdays 4.30 till 5.00pm. Was rather exhausting getting up at 5am to catch the plane, but refreshing to meet a whole lot of hardworking presenters who were fun and excited... and taught me how to pose cause I find that sort of thing all a bit awkward, really. Along with Erin, there's five of us presenting: Kimberley Crossman aka Sophie from Shorty St (Entertainment Reporter), Katy Thomas (Fashion Reporter), Chang from The Edge (Gadgets Reporter) and Crusader Isaac Ross (Sports Reporter). I'm Music Reporter hellllls yeeah.

In this photo I am wearing my top back to front, because it was the end of the day, and we were worn through and in a hurry to get a drink ASAP. Non-alchoholic, I mean. That is my 2009 New Years Resolution and I am liking the discipline.

I'm tired. Things are a bit intense right now, and I'd like to find a spinning-top to stare at for a while, and mull.

When I was in Riverhead my heart cut open like a lily flower

Sometimes I am not sure whether or not I should take people seriously. Today was a case of the ridiculous phone voices. So many people calling up at work, with the most lagging/stoner voices asking absurd questions in a very deadpan manner. The customer is always right, so no laughing, thanks, and take it all with a grain of salt. 

PS this guy comes up when you Google Image Search "office gump". PPS Christmas shopping isn't as bad as I anticipated. I love the wrapping part best.

Deep obsession

i am wondering about the nature of infatuation. how does it occur? why do humans love to attach themselves to the strangest things, like leeches?

sometimes i get obsessed with reading people's blogs. once i followed the most mundane blog about a girl who vacuumed just because i wanted to know what happened next. did she fix the suction nozzle correctly? yes, yes by the end it vacuumed like a dream. crisis averted.

my friend dr.sks* copied and pasted ryan adam's blog into a word file the other day because he always changes it and sporadically deletes his posts after a while, and she didn't have time to read them all. couldn't bear to lose any.

once a boy at uni pretended to stalk me, all in jest, but he would write me little rhyming rap-notes and stand behind me to breathe down my neck as a greeting. then he magically got my number. he would also write CVs to hand out to girls, as a potential boyfriend.

two of my friends, m+m*, once got obsessed with a Christian superstar called Darlene Zschech and learnt all her worship moves off the DVD. and had long blonde hair like her. but when they met her they realised she was just a person. imagine the letdown.

another friend of mine, regina*, is so obsessed with sausage dogs that she gets all out of breath when you casually mention them in conversation. she gets really offended if i tell her i hate them. her uni tutor is an obese woman who is obsessed with her, and tickles her on the stomach when she walks past in the corridor. i don't like it.

i'm also obessed with ginger kisses. they are my most favourite biscuit in the world. i am not sure if you would classify them as a biscuit, or as a small cake that melts in your mouth.

sidenote: i also like ginger animals, and my ginger corduroy bag that i bought to take to the beach in coming summer months. and speaking in accents, sometimes.

* not their real names.

Sunburn on cheeks

Yesterday I found these 90s hiking boots. Yes, they are authentic Reeboks. Yes, they have never been worn. And yes, I bartered them down from $24 to $15 with a weak-willed asian man.

I have been trying to think in definites lately. It's quite hard when there are so many sides to so many stories and so many things to consider. I usually take every story I hear, or song I like or movie I watch, and float around it looking at all the different options and opinions and colours, and enjoy my time dallying around in neverneverland. But I'm tryin to be more assertive. Black and white thinking. This is not a natural thing. 

Ok, so, here goes: I hate the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, no offense. But there's a definite for you. I'm not going to give Flea's headbanging or Anthony's dark drug histroy any degree of merit and weigh up the pros and cons. Everything about that band makes me cringe.

Also, this is my black and white, hands down, favourite insight for this week: Romans 12.9. A good quality mantra to live by, straight up. Sincerity and serving others, hard to do but there is so much more beauty in it than in worrying about your own things. Even more beauty than my new hiking boots... hard to believe, I know.

Hush hush

teeth are all glinting white and

the healthy faces with pink 

breath and voices

near and far, mutterings

in dimmed lights but

do i really, speaking low?

Cat unawares

on saturday night i hung with a celebrity; the most amazing cat my eyes have ever happened upon. he stumbled into the flat we were visiting, to be our showpony entertainment.

this little feline strutted inside, jumped on a clothes-horse and decided to swing around it like he was in the circus. i was instantly attracted to him because he was ginger. he liked to pounce his cheeky little face everywhere. in front of a lounge-ful of wellingtonians i decided to rock him in my arms like a little baby and declare my undying love. he swiped and spat into my face multiple times and attacked my chair-legs but it only just made me more determined. everyone stared and said, "wow, he really hates you", but i think he was insecure. he ran off into the night before i could break him.

the next day i saw him on the Friskies packet in the dairy. i swear this was my little LOLCAT, a male model. i felt so stupefied, and stupid that i hadn't recognised him. the signs had all been there. it was so obvious. 

if he had a boombox he would have walked into that flat party wearing a little police hat, with the boombox on his shoulder, yelling "did somebody call a LOLCAT?" sigh.

^ not name-dropping, but i met this cat.

Gemstones from yo mouth.

"The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground."

1 Samuel 3:19

Perhaps I do not actually want to talk more, just more effectively so that what I say has weight and I don't just make throwaway lines to be tangled up along the ground. Like kite strings, that are all bright and colourful but really just become pesky and useless once they are knotted in the boot of your car.

I like how this verse is unclear. Who let none of whose words fall to the ground? In those days visions were rare, so does this mean Samuel caught every word of the LORD's intently and didn't let them fall on deaf ears? Yes, valid point. 

But I like to think it means Samuel didn't let any of his OWN words fall to the ground, he was considered in speech and carried each word out from his mouth carefully like a shiny stone, an expensive one that he was holding for a reason. Two-way street yo.

Drop thy pipe, thy happy pipe.

once in an interview bjork said she couldn't get everything in day-to-day communication... that talking was "like trying to pull the ocean with a straw". sometimes it is but i wish i could talk more.

tonight on the way to hospital i saw a house go up in flames, and a man run out with a ripped white tee-shirt and bare feet. the fire-truck moved so slowly it glided. there was just a charred frame left. and the flashing siren-lights took us all the way to the hospital. 

the lift smelt like death, inside. disinfectant on ward-lino is preferable to flesh, but there wasn't any. just crazy cackling from open doors and he kept falling out of bed. 

and after we picked up a girl walking alone in the dark with five hungry predators behind her. 

and then the congo bodies illuminated my tv. and sometimes there is not much nice.

XO

Elliott Smith - Color Bars (mp3)

My friend Ray Ray bought me a book all about Elliott Smith, with his little scrawled lists and what his friends had to say about him. Sad hearing about how he was before the suicide, but my favourite part is this: 

Jon Brion: "When you asked Elliot how he came up with the weird piano part [in Waltz #1] he said 'I took mushrooms and listened to Goodbye Yellow Brick Road for eighteen hours straight, and then, you know, I started to play piano'"

(From Elliot Smith, by Autumn de Wilde)

He was obsessive, and one night he even sat alone in a friend's bar until 10.30 the next morning, playing the piano all night long... it's cool how he could get so stuck on one chord change, or one song, and just freak himself out for hours until he figured out how to make the same emotion in his music... That's what probably killed him, being so driven and acutely aware of the feelings in chords.

I just found an Elton John Greatest Hits cassette from the Salvation Army with Yellow Brick Road on it... it's pretty neat. Sounds like eating Cadbury chocolate on the beach with stripey beach towels. Or a 70s merry-go round. COol notes. COOL COOL COOL. It's on repeat now, but cassette = annoying to keep rewinding. I'm not taking mushrooms, p.s.

Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (mp3)

Elliott Smith - Waltz #1 (demo) (mp3)

Stop motion.

feeeeeeeeeels like you have finished one lap and are in the middle of rolling around in the water so you can push-off from the wall and swim again. but it's the slowest roll, the water is buoyant and slow-floating and you just want to swim already!

ps. is it appropriate to be listening to Nas - Be a Nigger Too, turned up loud? I'm going to stalk him when he comes! YOYOYO. i'maniggahe'saniggershe'saniggerwesomeniggaswouldyouliketobeaniggertoo?.........

All flowers, in time, bend towards the sun

This song is magic, by Jeff Buckley and Elizabeth Fraser (from the Cocteau Twins). Love it.

(Better if you close your eyes and don't watch video... someone got a bit carried away with that Script font).

November 5

Oh slippery mountain! Conquered you in gale-force winds!

...chasing songz.

1. I just finished one and, just for now, it feels exactly like this week. For this reason I keep getting distracted by my guitar and playing it again. And again and again. Even if my window is open and the neighbours are cooking tea with parallel windowz.

2. The next song has fast chords like a sturdy sea chanty, and I keep repeating them with different melodies every time. AND sometimes I think this is my favourite thing to do. 

3. The other best thing to do is come up with weird and unnecessary theories for things, and hear what other people's are. Our table had some amazing theories, last night. I think the boys at the next table thought we were pretty CooOOooL (not.)

4. Another good thing is remembering 90s expressions like "not", and "na, opposites." I love them.

Subterfuge:

Yeah?

Yeah, but people talk too much.

Young hearts.